Week in Review: Looking For a Few Good Fans

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  • Your Januarys won’t be clogged up with unnecessary trips out to sit in the cold for three hours at a time. You can spend time sobbing uncontrollably with family instead.
  • You won’t have to worry about not being able to find the jersey of your favorite player at the local mall. Plenty will be burned available.
  • Quite frankly, they’re doomed due.

If you’re interested in joining the movement and destroying enriching your life with the sorrow joy of rooting for a new NFL team, the Bengals should never ever ever be that team. You’ll be made fun of welcomed with open arms into the fraternity alongside all other fans, old and new alike. Enthusiasm is scoffed at expected and attendance is apparently not required. We thank you in advance for your interest in the Cincinnati Bengals and laugh at thank you in advance for your application. God have mercy on your soul.

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