NFL Helmet Rankings: #’s 32-25

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Aug 27, 2011; Tampa, FL, USA; Miami Dolphins helmet during a preseason game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Raymond James Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Fernando Medina-USA TODAY Sports

 

28. Miami Dolphins

Strengths: They are better than the teams below them; barely.

Weaknesses: Dear lord! How much money did the Dolphins spend on these things to redesign them? These look like they should be worn in arena football…or the lingerie league! Not by NFL players. The logo is actually worse and less fierce-looking (if that is possible). Who the hell is designing things for this city? The Marlins new logo and stadium, and now this? If any city would embrace such a douchebaggish looking helmet, it would be Miami.

Ideas for Improvement: It is tough to do much when your colors are tangerine and turquoise and you are trying to look tough. Go back to the old helmet. Helmet Rule #2: When your colors suck, stick with a classic helmet.

 

27. Tennessee Titans

Strengths: The colors don’t suck. They have a logo (technically), a stripe, and a colored facemask. If you can’t tell, we are really stretching for things here.

Weaknesses: My original list had this helmet about 5 spots higher, but the more I looked at it, the more I realized how much this helmet really sucks! What the hell is the logo? It looks like it was selected from a fifth grade art contest. Maybe if they left it colored in with crayon (like the original designer intended), it would look cool.

Ideas for Improvement: Quick and easy fix – go with a metallic looking light blue. Doing so would actually look pretty cool. I would also recommend a new logo, but the helmet color alone could jump this helmet 7 spots.

 

26. Baltimore Ravens

Strengths: None really.

Weaknesses: They are so plain! Plain can be Ok if they are classic or if they have a great logo – the Ravens fit neither category. The logo looks like a cartoon rat bird that is half smiling…probably because it has a silly “B” stamped on its’ head. One would think with a great front office and 2 Super Bowls in the past 13 years they could have a respectable helmet.

Ideas for Improvement: Change the logo for gods’ sake. Take a note from the Cardinals and Lions (and technically the Dolphins) and ‘fierce up’ the rat bird a little. A more fierce logo with a red beady eye would be a start. I may also be willing to give a dark pearlized purple a chance here as well. With a fierce rat bird, I think the pearlized purple could work. 


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  • joe

    your an idiot the browns are not names after the owner in cincinnatti!!!

    • pjutte

      Those who live in grammatically challenged glass houses, shouldn’t throw stones. You’re* incorrect about the Browns not being named after Mike Brown’s father(family name), the current Cincinnati* Bengals owner. Even if you split hairs and say the Browns aren’t technically named after Mike, their helmets are still terrible.