Stripe Hype’s Cincinnati Bengals New Years Resolutions


With the disappointing 2007 season officially in the rear view mirror, Stripe Hype has come up with some helpful resolutions the Bengals players and coaches could make to help insure a much more productive 2008.

Carson Palmer: Carson needs to make a resolution that he’ll step up, and be more of a team leader.  It appears that Palmer likes to lead with his actions more than his words, but this team is badly in need of real leadership in the locker room, and being the quarterback, that role seems to lend itself to Carson.

Rudi Johnson: Rudi needs to dedicate himself this off-season to getting healthy, and being the Rudi we all saw two years ago.  A bruising rusher with surprising speed.  I don’t want to have to see the Bengals go after a running back early in the draft, we have enough issues elsewhere.

Chad Johnson: Ocho needs to resolve to put the sideshow that has traveled with him the last two years back into the cardboard box it came in.  Chad needs to get back to the type of player who was more recognized as someone  who slept overnight at the team’s offices so he could review film late into the night.  That’s been overshadowed by his endzone hijinx.

TJ Houshmandzadeh: TJ needs to resolve to change his name to Smith.  It’s just too hard to try and spell his name correctly week after week.  Cmon TJ, lots of people have stage names, join the cool kids!

Bob Bratkowski: Brat needs to resolve to watch film more often.  No not opponents’ game film, his own team’s.  Bratkowski has been handed a very talented offensive squad over the last 4 years, and it’s been inconsistent to say the least.  It’s time to study up on your players talents Bob.

Chuck Bresnahan: Chuck needs to resolve to update his resume.  The Bengals defense has been a joke for the last two years, it’s time for Chuck to go.

Marvin Lewis: Marvin needs to resolve to be a stronger leader in his own right.  There are countless rumors that there is anarchy in the Bengals locker room.  At the moment the Bengals’ ship seems to be captainless, and that’s Marvin’s fault.  His hands off approach isn’t working, evidenced further by the number of players who have gotten into serious legal trouble.  If Marvin wants to be the coach in 2009, he’d better find a real solution to a talented squad’s implosion.

Mike Brown:  The Cincy owner needs to resolve to hire himself a GM.  This team is on the brink, which brink that is remains to be seen.  They could be on the brink of making a New England like run at the playoffs, with the kind of talent they have on offense.  They could also be on the brink of fading back into their Bungles persona, seeing the playoffs once every decade at best.   Brown has been the owner for a looooong time, the team has gone to the playoffs twice in 17 years under his leadership, it’s time to give someone else a shot at the day-to-day personnel managing.