Bengals News

Can Coach Kline

By Editorial Staff

Didn’t we hear all last year about how the Bengals are a run-oriented team now? Weren’t we told that smash-mouth football was the way to win in the AFC North? And weren’t we told all through the off-season that the offensive line was built to run block? I’m pretty sure that I didn’t just make that up in my head. That’s why I am looking for someone to explain this little item from a recent column from Joe Reedy:

"During the run of the five straight three-and-outs, the Bengals passed on all five even though two of them were two yards or less. Palmer was 1 of 5 for 4 yards."

Questions for Mr. Bratkowski. Since when do run-first team pass 3rd-and-2? And did you forget that putting Cedric Benson or Bernard Scott in the backfield on 3rd-and-short would force Miami to cover both? Ten year olds playing Madden know that much.

With each game that slips away because of this anemic offense, Bratkowski morphs more and more into Coach Kline at the beginning of The Waterboy. He may have known what he was doing at one point, but he is now just a stammering goofball with a modest connection to reality. As evidence, let’s consider more words of wisdom from Coach Kline himself as related by Reedy.

"When asked about the state of the offense seven games in, Bratkowski said: “When you lose it gets hard to say you took a step forward. When you get only 14 points in a game like that you feel like you should come away for more points.”"

Well, Coach Kline, I guess that it would be hard to say that you took a step forward when, in fact, you did not. This team has not taken a step forward since May. But I guess we see now how he keeps his job. “Well, Mr. Brown, I know we lost yet again today. But we took a step forward too.” Good grief.

Oh, and one more super-sensitive NFL secret, Coach Kline. When your offense plays something akin to NFL-caliber football for a full 60 minutes, you’ll come away with more than 14 points. You have effectively proven that only playing one or two quarters of real offense is not enough time to beat other NFL teams. Except Carolina.