Bengals News

Week in Review: 24 Hours in the Life of a Bengals Fan

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5:00 PM-YOu eat dinner in silence, downing 3 more beers, refusing to talk to the non-understanding woman and aggravating child beside you.
7:00 PM-After a few more beers, you suddenly jump in your car, drive at a high rate of speed to the store you bought supplies at earlier, find the guy who checked you out and punch him right in the mouth.
8:00 PM-You stop at a bar to drown your sorrows, but one of the other patrons looks exactly like Jermaine Gresham, so you ask him how in the hell he can drop 8 passes in one game. You don’t believe him when he says his name is Dave, so you punch him in the mouth. Brawling ensues, resulting in a broken window, 3 smashed chairs, a destroyed table, a black eye and a fat lip.
9:30 PM-You try to explain to the cop that it’s that GD Marvin Lewis’s fault, not yours, to no avail.
10:00 PM-You use your one phone call to call your buddy and gripe that this crap team just cost you $100.
11:00 PM-They book you and put you in your cell, which you share with a Steelers fan.
12:00 AM-You like this guy as he talks about how he hopes the Bengals get it together, and that they’re definitely on the right track.
2:00 AM-You hate this freaking Steelers homer, you punch him in the mouth, so he kicks you in the groin, followed by you biting him. You beat on each other til a guard shows up, who happens to be a Ravens fan, and who kicks the crap out of both of you.