Bengals News

ICYMI: Cincinnati Bengals Black Sheep: Current Edition

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Also, as a side note. Most of my articles, if not all of them, have me being very cynical towards our beloved Bengals. Just to be clear, I am cynical because I care, and also because I cannot stand unrealistic fans putting the team in higher ranks when they are not proven.

So Let’s get down to business. Every family has a Black Sheep. Whether it is that Uncle Jim Bob of yours you constantly reminds you how fat you are, or maybe it is Cousin Jake who is working on another “Get-Rich-Quick Scheme” instead of getting a job. I’m getting sidetracked. Anyhow, who would you put as the Bengals Black Sheep?

Well my fellow cynical fans, I have narrowed it down to 3 choices.

Jan 5, 2013; Houston, TX, USA; Cincinnati Bengals cornerback

Adam Jones

(24) returns a kick against the Houston Texans during the second quarter of the AFC Wild Card playoff game at Reliant Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

1. Adam “Don’t Call Me Pac-Man” Jones.

– Mr. Don’t Call Me Pac-Man. Do you not think that the NFL is using you as an example at the Rookie Symposium Year in and Year Out? It’s not because of your elaborate vocabulary skills, or your “clean” record. They do it because they know you have nothing better to do than to pull a hamstring on a punt return after you have already missed 94% percent of the season, and because they want to show the players coming into the league that yes, even after you punch a woman in the face, that you too can still have a place in the NFL.

Jul 31, 2011; Georgetown, KY, USA; Cincinnati Bengals offensive tackle

Andre Smith

(71) warms up during training camp at Georgetown College. Mandatory Credit: Frank Victores-USA TODAY Sports

2. Andre “I Can’t Keep My Weight Under Control So I have to Miss Every Offseason Work-Out Ever, Plus I am an Over Rated Offensive Line-Man Just Because Pro-Football Focus Thinks That I am Decent” Smith.

– Where should I start with this physical disaster of an NFL Player? Well how about before he even got into the League? Remember that 40-Yard Dash Video that is forever ingrained in everyone’s mind? Well that isn’t because he is a run-way model. Come to think of it, he probably doesn’t do that much running at all. Since Draft day Smith has Disappointed us. It took him until after Hard-Knocks to even sign with the Bengals.

For those of you that don’t know, Hard Knocks starts a week before Pre-Season, and ends shortly after. Then once this 1st-Round Marvel does sign..Uh-Oh Banananana- Fat Man got hurt. Once he finally got healthy, he actually had a decent season and his contract ended. Smith comes out and says he wants 10 Million+ per year, and on top of that, Pro Football Focus says he is a top lineman. I would have believed that if we weren’t the only team to offer him a contract two months into Free-Agency.

Then On Top of that, now he won’t show up after signing a decent sized contract for “Personal (I mean, I am too over weight, out of shape, and fat, so my coach won’t let me show up and embarrass the team) Reasons.