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Bengals: Post-Week 2 Projected 53-Man Roster

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Aug 24, 2015; Tampa, FL, USA; Cincinnati Bengals running back James Jr. Wilder (34) runs the ball in for a 2-point conversion during the second half against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Raymond James Stadium. Tampa Bay Buccaneers defeated the Cincinnati Bengals 25-11. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Practice Squad

You’ll notice that I put 11 names on the practice squad list; I really believe that at least one of the following players will be signed to another team’s 53-man roster. The most likely candidates are James Wilder Jr., Troy Hill, DeShawn Williams and Terrell Watson. If none of these players make another roster, Chris Jasperse would probably be the guy that Cincinnati cuts ties with.

James Wilder Jr., running back (good chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

Terrell Watson, running back (fair chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

Jake Kumerow, wide receiver (little to no chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

Tanner Hawkinson, tackle (little to no chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

Trey Hopkins, guard (little to no chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

Chris Jasperse, center (little to no chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

Sam Montgomery, defensive end (little to no chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

DeShawn Williams, defensive tackle (good chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

Nico Johnson, linebacker (little to no chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

Jayson DiManche, linebacker (little to no chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

Troy Hill, cornerback (good chance he makes another team’s 53-man roster)

Dream Scenario

In writing this article, I’ve tried to be as realistic as possible in making predictions based off of what I’ve heard around Cincinnati’s camp and based off of who I’ve been seeing in games (hence Brandon Tate making the team). However, I have a dream scenario in which the Bengals are able to finally cut ties with players with whom they need to let go so that young guys can step up.

So what’s my dream scenario?

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Domata Peko and Cedric Peerman are promoted to assistant coaches, where they can still make an impact in the locker room.

Brandon Tate is exiled to Carolina where he records 1,300 yards receiving for the Panthers. But this doesn’t matter to Bengals fans; Tate is finally gone!

With the aforementioned players gone, the Bengals are able to sign DeShawn Williams, Terrell Watson (who I like more than James Wilder Jr. at running back) and Denarius Moore.

But I’m not finished!

Margus Hunt, who was gone anyways, returns to Estonia, where he becomes a shotput and discus coach at Tallinn Juudi Kool, a small Jewish high school. He ends up marrying a delightful Estonian woman named Dagmar and has ten sons, six of whom become professional football players.

The Bengals can’t find a way to stash Troy Hill on the roster, and the Baltimore Ravens poach him from Cincinnati the day Hill becomes available. Hill then develops into a top-five corner and locks down A.J. Green twice a year for the next seven years until Green retires and joins a traveling circus, where he defies basic scientific laws and becomes the first man to juggle underwater.

The best story of all? Let me tell you about a man named Keith Wenning.

After Troy Hill is poached, Keith Wenning eventually makes his way onto Cincinnati’s practice squad before the Bengals decide that they want to move in a different direction. Wenning, in a Tony Romo-esque fashion, works his way up the Cleveland Browns roster and becomes the starting quarterback. He then goes on to lead the Browns to 12 consecutive division titles and a 24-0 record against the Bengals. #Wenning becomes a nationwide trend, and Charlie Sheen sues Wenning for theft of Sheen’s popular catchphrase, “Duh, Winning!” The case makes it all the way to the Supreme court, but to Sheen’s dismay, the judge takes a good look at Sheen, bursts out into laughter and dismisses the case.

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  • Wenning’s career, however, doesn’t pan out perfectly. He goes on a Dalton-esque rampage under new Browns head coach

    Marvin Lewis

    (known for having a close relationship with owner

    Ray Farmer

    ), going one-and-done in an impressive but tragic 12 straight seasons.

    Meanwhile, new Bengals starter A.J. McCarron takes the reigns, and boy oh boy are the Bengals an exciting team to watch. Despite a few down seasons, Bengals fans become ecstatic when A.J. McCarron, Terrell Watson and A.J. Green–in Green’s farewell season–earn a Wild Card berth and heroically guide the Bengals to a Super Bowl victory in 2023. So while Wenning gets the last laugh, so do the Bengals.

    And with McCarron at the reigns, what ever happens to Andy Dalton?

    Dalton retires from the NFL, moves back to Texas and replaces Brett Favre as the posterboy for Wrangler Jeans. He farms in his free time and his son Noah goes on to win three consecutive Super Bowls with the newest NFL expansion team, the Mexico City Conquistadors.

    Ok maybe I got a little bit carried away, but to sum it up, I’d just love it if Brandon Tate and Domata Peko were gone. Anything more is an added bonus. Go Bengals.

    Next: Bengals: Preseason Week 2 Takeaways