Only after his job is confirmed safe despite his doing it so poorly does Cincinnati Bengals GM-but-not-GM Duke Tobin ever address the media.
Hey Duke, in case you were wondering (you weren't, because you never have to answer for anything with any meaningful consequences at stake), me and the vast majority of the fanbase are pretty irked by the fact that you never hit the podium. Zac Taylor is tossed out there to take all the slings and arrows on your behalf. It's not a noble act. It's the stuff of cowards.
As cowardly as the Bengals' overall strategy was at the NFL trade deadline, and as incompetent as Duke and his minions were in botching their trade for Arnold Ebiketie, what happened next was even worse...
Sorry couldn't resist leaning into that early-viral phrasing cliché for this latest dookie from Dukie.
Tobin had a chance to do something huge at the trade deadline and after...and blew it all around
Not only did Duke Tobin and the Bengals' perpetually under-resourced personnel department squander most their time around the NFL trade deadline reneging on the Arnold Ebiketie trade with Philly. They also didn't make any moves for anyone else.
Meanwhile, the AFC's other division leaders in Buffalo and Denver made huge moves at the 11th hour of the NFL's trade ultimatum. The AFC South-leading Jaguars were even more aggressive, scoring beloved ex-Bengal Jessie Bates to add insult to injury.
Tobin could've done something out of character. He could've addressed the media today, taken it on the chin, fielded uncomfortable questions, and leveraged the low moment to send a message further upstairs.
What message would that be? "GIVE US MORE MONEY AND RESOURCES SO WE DON'T LOOK LIKE TOTAL BUFFOONS RELATIVE TO THE REST OF THE NFL!"
Except Duke would never dream of that. He's a made man amongst owner Mike Brown and family.
Good on Zac Taylor for what how he handled Tuesday's failed trade during Wednesday's press conference, as transcribed by beat writer Charlie Goldsmith:
"Obviously, we tried something yesterday. Duke was very explicit with me when he came and spoke to me about how he wanted this portrayed. I'm not comfortable doing it, but I'm going to do what he asked. We did make an effort to put some depth in there in place of Cashius. As we got into it, it was going to be more costly than we initially anticipated. He's really apologetic about it and wants it made clear. Philly was a great trade partner. It was on our end. Certainly we have a ton of confidence in our front office and how they do things. They've given us the players that have allowed us to be 6-2 right now, playing at such a high level."
I'm starting to annoy myself with how often I make this joke. Except it's not a joke because it's 100% fact: Duke Tobin has held his post since Bill Clinton was president.
Think about that for just like a fraction of a second. I don't know who woke up ownership or what the heck happened that shook everyone into action this offseason. Oh wait yes I do. It was Joe Burrow being so fed up that people were wondering if he'd Andrew Luck his way out of the NFL, or demand a trade like Carson Palmer did before him.
Duke and the front office deserved all the heat they got amid a three-year playoff drought. And guess what? They finally did something about it. Kudos. The team is 6-2, and Burrow is an MVP front-runner.
...But it still felt like pulling teeth. It still felt like the team could've gone further (you know, maybe get a known starting-caliber linebacker before Week 1?).
And here we are. Around Tuesday's trade deadline, with all those good vibes off the Madrid rout of the Falcons, this is what happened in Cincinnati whilst every other AFC contender got better.
I'm not even that mad at Duke per se. This just exposes how much the Bengals need to modernize their scouting and personnel departments (Read: Vastly expand them). And it underscores why they need, you know, an actual general manager in title and in competence to captain the ship and get this team over the Super Bowl hump.
Joe Burrow can only cover up so much crap. I can't wait to hear what he has to say on this. I don't think he's going to be diplomatic at all. As he shouldn't be.
When is enough enough? When are we going to get serious about having a real GM? This would be the perfect off-ramp to let Tobin go. It won't happen, but...I don't know. Maybe Joe wills it so someday.
It's very possible that the Bengals cost themselves the Super Bowl at the NFL trade deadline. The lack of action, the take-back on a trade involving trivial compensation that would've helped the cause for a Lombardi Trophy, and Tobin's cowardice in the aftermath all add up to the truth everyone knows but doesn't want to talk about.
The truth: Until the Bengals get serious about restructuring their leadership behind the scenes, they will not be viewed as a serious franchise.
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