Bengals: Stealing one player from every AFC North foe

These guys would look better in black and orange!
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Browns: Myles Garrett

The Cleveland Browns possess incredible talent on their squad. Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah and Martin Emerson Jr. are recent gems Cleveland found in the draft. But with the talent the Bengals have at the linebacker and cornerback positions, Owusu-Koramoah and Emerson Jr. narrowly miss out on being Cleveland’s players to steal. Instead, applying Occam’s razor, the one Browns player to pillage from their roster would undoubtedly be Myles Garrett. 

By snatching Garrett, the Bengals would turn a weakness into a strength, eliminate one of their foe’s significant assets, and alleviate an enormous headache for Cincinnati’s offense whenever the Battle of Ohio unfolds. 

Furthermore, count on Garrett being even more menacing this season now that Cleveland traded for defensive end Za’Darius Smith this offseason. Teams will have to concentrate on both pass-rushers rather than focusing on Garrett as in years past. Sometimes when that happens, it leads to the Bengals' offense pass-blocking a defensive end with a tight end or running back, which is not ideal. 

Garrett probably isn’t happy Nick Bosa beat him for the 2022 sack leader title. Still in his prime, Garrett finished last season with 16 sacks, 18 tackles for loss, two forced fumbles, and an additional 23 hits on quarterbacks. The only time he has failed to accumulate double-digit sacks in a season was his rookie year. 

Hopefully, the acquisition of Orlando Brown will help protect Joe Burrow from the nightmarish presence that keeps Bengals fans restless in Myles Garrett. Too bad the Bengals can’t steal him away from their in-state rival. 


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That concludes the praise for the AFC North foes. It is time to shower off that particular stench. Tomorrow, we’ll resume hating everything Browns, Ravens, and especially Steelers.