New Bengals preseason strategy bodes well for finally starting fast in 2025

Until they reverse the trend, the start to any Cincinnati Bengals season will always be accompanied by a spooky atmosphere, a haunting musical score, and footage of demons from the past yet to be exorcised.

At least that's how it plays in my head. Year after year, I've sat glued to my chair or couch cushion, flummoxed by the corpse-like efforts from this team in Weeks 1 and 2 or thereabouts. Only around Halloween do the Bengals seem to hit their stride. It's been too late by then in the past couple seasons.

What sort of incantation or sacrifice can head coach Zac Taylor and metaphysically-gifted quarterback Joe Burrow summon to liberate this franchise from such stringent early-season curses?

Well, all signs indicate that the journey back to the mundane plane of starting a season off on the right foot commences by banking some reps in the NFL's glorified exhibition phase.

Zac Taylor lays out plan for Joe Burrow and starters to play in preseason

Thanks in large part to Joe Burrow finally getting through a training camp healthy, and without rehabbing a season-ending injury, Taylor plans to deploy the Bengals' starters far more than in years past.

Taylor elaborated further in an interview with Kay Adams, explaining how Burrow's health created a ripple effect in prior preseasons that precluded more starters from logging live reps in game situations.

"Everything has always led us to those outcomes. Joe Burrow being healthy — he has not been healthy until this training camp. And so when the quarterback’s not playing, why is your left tackle playing? Why is Ja’Marr playing? So there's a there's a ricochet effect. That happened to us in LA in 2018, with Andrew Whitworth not playing and Jared Goff sitting out. So, now we've got guys that are ready to go. We want to give these guys those snaps."

Oh what a relief it is that the football gods didn't frown upon Joe Burrow once again with wicked misfortune and awful injury luck. Even as a rookie, Burrow had a limited camp due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Then, it was a shredded knee, appendicitis, a calf injury, and recovering from a right wrist injury in all the subsequent respective training camps.

Burrow and the Bengals appearing to be all systems go, with minimal injuries to the core nucleus of the team, feels like a sort of divine intervention. No NFL embodiment of Satan strolling undetected into Cincinnati so far! You love to see it! It's about time!

OK I'll try to calm down. I'm calm. I swear I'm calm.

WHO DEY, BAY-BEE!!! OK I promise this time I'm done.

Does anyone in their right mind not believe the Bengals will make the playoffs? Speaking as a totally objective observer. As long as that pesky Trey Hendrickson deal gets done, I can't fathom how this team doesn't reach double-digit wins and legitimately threatens the Ravens for the AFC North crown.

Am I fan-manning too hard? Doesn't seem like it. Sure sounds like Al Golden has that defense ready to rock. We all know what Burrow, Ja'Marr Chase, and Tee Higgins bring to the offense. The latter two are all paid and secured for most of what remains of Joe Brrr's theoretical prime.

Trust that the Browns are shaking in their boots about that fateful meeting in Cleveland on Sept. 7. Forgive me for not being a-scared of their all-world first-team offense. Even prominent local media figures are admitting to how bad it looks on paper.

These 2025 Bengals will be well-repped in the preseason and ready to come out of the gates swinging. Pity the divisional adversary standing in their way.

Or at least I would pity them if they didn't sell their souls for Deshaun Watson once upon a time...