A 2026 Bengals mock draft that tries to be as bad at this as Duke Tobin is

The Cincinnati Bengals sure do have an unconventional, interesting, polarizing, and borderline nonsensical approach to the NFL Draft. Why should 2026 be any different under de facto GM Duke Tobin's watch?

Cincinnati's dreadful track record of the past four years in particular is a direct cause for why Joe Burrow has missed the playoffs for consecutive three seasons and counting.

I can't be the only one who, after darn near every single pick the Bengals make, has a reaction of, "Huh........?" So utilizing PFF's mock draft simulator, let's get into it. Let's try to draft as badly as Duke Tobin does.

(I will laugh when all these players absolutely slap in the NFL.)

2026 Bengals 7-round mock draft prioritizes unnecessary risk, depth & contingencies over immediate impact

Round 1, Pick 9 — Kadyn Proctor, OT, Alabama

Ooh baby we've hit the jackpot! Not an obvious need. No expectations for immediate impact. A "high value" position. Protection for Joe Burrow. A contingency/successor/insurance plan for when Orlando Brown Jr. inevitably walks in 2027 as a free agent once the Bengals low-ball him. Plus-size measurement requirements met (Proctor listed at 6'7", 366 pounds). And still a bit of a reach.

The prototype for a marquee Duke Tobin draft pick — and an "F" grade from PFF. Now if the Bengals traded out of the ninth pick and scooped up Proctor later? Fine. Just not like this, please!

Wanna see the precedent for this from the past four first rounds? Sure why not.

• 2022 — Dax Hill at No. 31 to replace Jessie Bates (Hill failed as a safety)
• 2023 — Myles Murphy at No. 28 to replace Sam Hubbard (Murphy finally flashing in Year 3)
• 2024 — Amarius Mims at No. 18 to replace Trent Brown (thrust into duty only after Brown's Week 3 injury)
• 2025 — Shemar Stewart at No. 17 to replace Trey Hendrickson (TBD; disastrous to date)

Round 2, Pick 41 — Keith Abney II, CB, Arizona State

A solid selection in the second round on paper. Perhaps framed as a theoretical upgrade over Dax Hill to start opposite DJ Turner on the boundary, or it'd give Hill the flexibility to move back to the nickel spot. What this really is, though? Another pseudo-succession plan for when Turner prices himself out of Cincinnati.

Nothing against Abney. Nice player and prospect. He's yielded zero touchdowns with two interceptions in 2025, along with a completion percentage of only 44.4% That amounts to a 46.1 passer rating when targeted (32-for-72 for 321 yards; 4.5 yards per attempt). Abney has also missed only two tackles. He's just...not the direction you'd expect the Bengals to go in.

Sounds rather familiar, doesn't it?

Read More: Former NFL All-Pro told it like it is on Joe Burrow's Bengals future

Round 3, Pick 73 — Tim Keenan III, DL, Alabama

Again, this isn't a slight toward Tim Keenan III. It's more of a "safe" pick from a blue blood program on the other side of the line of scrimmage.

Tobin has seemingly whiffed on 2024 Day 2 defensive tackles Kris Jenkins Jr. and McKinnley Jackson. The former was seen as a stellar choice who hasn't lived up to his billing. The latter was baffling at the time, and only vindicated that suspicion by being inactive most of this season.

Keenan has eight sacks over the last three seasons for the Crimson Tide. Almost double that of 2025 first-round EDGE Shemar Stewart's college total. However, Keenan only has a 62.4 true pass set pass rush grade this season and a 1.3% pass rush win rate. Sounds right up Tobin's alley. Solid run defender at least. Big 320-pound body. Alas, JAG (Just A Guy) when the Bengals need DUDES who can play NOW.

Round 4, Pick 109 — Terry Moore, S, Duke

Bummer that Moore tore his ACL in last year's bowl game and missed this season for the Blue Devils. He has a promising future ahead in spite of the injury. When I went through this simulation, there were multiple other safeties who'd probably be safer, more versatile, surer tacklers, more productive overall, and went to bigger schools. Like say Bama's Keon Sabb.

It'd be classic Bengals to overthink things, take a wild risk and wait way too long to prioritize a position of dire need. Moore and his Bengals-on-brand 16.7% missed tackle rate from 2024 would be in line to start next to Jordan Battle with Geno Stone likely fleeing via the open market.

Round 5, Pick 148 — Zachariah Branch, WR, Georgia

Had my eye on this guy for a while. I imagine he'll crack my annual top 100 big board. Branch rips up man coverage. He began his career at USC under Lincoln Riley. Absolutely electric. Just the type of slot dynamo the Bengals have missed in their receiving corps.

Twitchy as heck, slippery in the open field, racks up YAC, and really, Georgia has done Branch a disservice by spam targeting him on screens so often. He's third in the nation in screen catches (39) and yards (283). Imagine what Branch could do in Cincy with Ja'Marr Chase and Tee Higgins freeing up so much space for him.

If there’s anything this Bengals scouting department is somehow good at, it’s evaluating wide receivers. Branch can also contribute as a return man on special teams.

Round 6, Pick 187 — TJ Guy, EDGE, Michigan

Trey Hendrickson ain't coming back on his own volition. The Bengals will need to franchise tag him to make that happen. In light of the injury that kept him out for a good chunk of 2025, it's doubtful Cincinnati will tag the best free-agent signing in the organization's history.

Enter: Another Michigan Wolverine to join Jenkins, Turner and Hill among those on the Bengals defense who hail from Ann Arbor. Guy isn't as productive as many of the other edge defenders who were still on the board in this sim. Hence the pick!

Round 7, Pick 222 — Tyreek Chappell, CB, Texas A&M

A random cornerback from the same school as Stewart and Jackson. Why not? Feels like a convenient depth/special teams addition. Chappell plays in the slot, so maybe the Bengals figure they'll get lucky and find a diamond in the rough here.

I'd make sure Jalen Davis stays on the active roster after he's thrived in the nickel role of late, but this is Duke Tobin, the Blackburns, and Mike Brown we're talking about. Seldom do they do logical things unless Joe Burrow is publicly pleading for them to do said things.

Round 7, Pick 252 — Luke Altmyer, QB, Illinois

I don't know. At the rate Burrow gets injured, couldn't hurt to have a developmental QB not named Jake Browning added to the mix. A nice 45-11 TD-INT ratio over the last two seasons. Decent 6'2", 215-pound build. Altmyer is better than advertised. Given how thin this quarterback class is, I wouldn't be surprised to see him go a round or two earlier come draft time.

Feels ridiculous doing write-ups on a hypothetical seventh-round pick in mid-December. Oh well. Here we are! This is all we Bengals faithful have to look forward to with our playoff hopes dashed!

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